these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
