you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize