How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She bit a glass in half.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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