I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
