you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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