i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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