I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
