You smell like a Billy Joel song
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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