I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
