i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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