We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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