how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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