this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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