that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
