new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
