I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
