I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
