I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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