i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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