There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
