i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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