totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
