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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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