He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
