omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
