i permit you to call me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
