Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
