Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
