wakey wakey hands off snakey
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
