Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
