This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out