Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU