my phone needs a breathalizer
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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