I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
