I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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