He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's rum buckets o'clock
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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