take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
