Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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