halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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