Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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