Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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