Need sex. Gaining weight.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
