He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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