she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
