this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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