There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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