NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
