Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
