Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
