Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
