I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
