i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
