Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
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we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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