would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
