the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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