Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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