Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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