fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
