Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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