i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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