I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize