All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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