i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
