That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
