He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
