Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We are two peas in an std pod
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
